This story is a collaboration between Capitol News Illinois and Illinois Answers Project.
Compulsive gamblers are dreamers. They dream of winning big, buying houses and cars and new clothes for their family, paying back everyone they’ve borrowed and stolen from and living in penthouses.
Around the corner is always a win that will undo the harm they wrought. It will let them repay the early withdrawals they’ve pulled from retirement accounts or replenish money they’ve taken from shared savings accounts with family members.
They will lie, steal and scam the people closest to them to finance their gambling.
They are ruled by an ego that leads them to believe that they know better, that only they have the special keys to buck the odds, beat the bots and close out with a jackpot that will solve all of their problems.
But the jackpot will never arrive or it will never be big enough.
Ultimately, their inability to step away from the game will lead them the to depths of despair, to contemplate suicide or worse.
In Illinois, 1 million people are estimated to be compulsive gamblers or at risk of becoming one.
Read more: Addicted to gambling in Illinois: ‘Someone has decided they can make money off you’
These are their stories.
Editor’s note: This story is based on interviews with more than a dozen compulsive gamblers in recovery. Their identities have been omitted to allow them to speak openly about their lives. Quotes are edited for clarity and brevity.
COVER IMAGE: A weekly Gamblers Anonymous meeting brings compulsive gamblers together in the basement of St. Gertrude Catholic Church to share stories, seek advice and hold each other accountable on the road to recovery. (Credit: Victor Hilitski for Illinois Answers Project)

